He Is My Strength
I woke up at 5:30 am with these words running through my head, " I will give you strength, I will give you hope, no enemy shall stand against you.” Or was it, I will be your strength, I will be your hope, against you no enemy will stand?” Over and over again, the words repeated. Soon, I realized it was the whisper of the Holy Spirit.
Yesterday, I was told that I need a double mastectomy due to the unknown areas of concern in addition to the one biopsied cancer cell found in my right breast that is currently non-invasive, but has the potential to break through and start an invasive journey through my breasts and to parts unknown. Is that my only choice, I asked? I was given the option of first investigating the “suspicious cells” before making a final decision. I chose option B, more biopsies.
Usually when I awaken with words streaming through my mind, it’s the lyrics to a song and I am able to search the phrases and see more fully what God is saying to me. This morning I could not find a song anywhere with these words. I began searching the scriptures and found Isaiah 54:17 “But in that coming day no weapon turned against you will succeed. You will silence every voice raised up to accuse you. These benefits are enjoyed by the servants of the LORD; their vindication will come from me. I, the LORD, have spoken!” That did not make any sense for me unless God was telling me that the cancer will not succeed in bringing further disease into my life and as a servant of Christ, I can trust God to take care of it. Maybe that is a stretch. Then I read Joshua 1:5, “No one will be able to stand against you as long as you live. For I will be with you as I was with Moses. I will not fail you or abandon you.” This brought me more comfort for I am reminded that God is with me and I have the assurance that He will not abandon me.
When you are diagnosed with breast cancer, the natural human inclination is to worry about the next steps, the surgeries, the follow up and the future reoccurrence. I’m not sure how I came across this quote from Corrie ten Boom, but I believe it speaks to every person that encounters a “worrisome” life event, “Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow, it empties today of its strength.” (Corrie ten Boom, Clippings from My Notebook). Right now, I need to turn that “worry” over to God who has given me this promise, “I will be your strength, I will be your hope.”
After my second cup of coffee and time reading the last chapter of Draw the Circle, called “Teach Us to Pray,” I knelt and began to pray aloud. I saw Jesus standing before me. His eyes held a love and compassion I cannot explain. All I could do was bow in worship.
Christ has spoken. He is my strength. He is my hope. He is my Defender. He is always with me.
