Many, whether religious or not, are familiar with the story of the Prodigal Son told by Jesus to a group of religious elites. Ponder this question with me: “What is the heart of the matter with the older son?” Do you sense his struggle with rejection? I hear his ill-thought words of self-pity and jealousy pour forth. He is filled with resentment.
It is true that the more one complains about one’s lot in life; the more entrenched one becomes in a miserable state of being. This is where we find the older son in the story.
If we dive deep into feelings of neglect, rejection, and being misunderstood, the “more lost” we become in the mire of abandonment. Complaining more grows the feelings of rejection. Thus, this is the stage upon which the elder son stands.
In his book, The Return of the Prodigal, Henri Nouwen comments that in this abandonment state, “we lose our spontaneity to the extent that even joy can no longer evoke joy in us.” The eldest son steps into a celebration but cannot experience any joy emitted in every corner. He sits in his wound of rejection and is blind to the invitation to joy.
According to Nouwen, “joy and resentment cannot coexist.” Consider light and darkness. Where there is light, darkness vanishes. Without the infusion of joy, one cannot participate in the “party” when resentment and rejection dominate.
I can relate. When I held abandonment in my heart for someone close to me who had harmed me, I could not enjoy any party or celebration. I would be miserable to the core. So, I began to choose isolation over social engagements. Nouwen comments, “The elder son couldn’t enter into the house and share in his father’s joy. His inner complaint paralyzed him and let the darkness engulf him. The elder son stood outside the circle of his father’s love, refusing to enter.”
When I chose to sit in abandonment, not only did joy escape me, but I also struggled to receive love. Relating this to Father God, if we feel abandoned by him or mistreated, we keep ourselves outside his circle of love. In the story of the Prodigal Son, the father welcomed the wayward son with mercy and love, not condemnation and judgment.
The father also welcomed his “good” son with mercy and love. The elder son condemned his father for his actions of grace. The father’s response was to beg him to come into the party. The father had enough love for both his sons.
Our Father God has plenty of love to circle the world infinitely. During the Christmas season, the light is shining brightly from the manger. God calls, Come Home. We don’t know how either son lived out the rest of his life. Nouwen remarks, “What I do know with unwavering certainty is the heart of the father. It is a heart of limitless mercy.”
I invite you to the manger of Jesus, son of God and son of man. Love shines bright. Step into the circle of His love. Shed the darkness of resentment and complaint. Our loving Father stands with arms of mercy open wide to welcome you home in this New Year.
Reference: “Without Joy, “The Return of the Prodigal Son by Henri Nouwen,1994.
Article by Tammy Davis, December 2021.
